My kept man

It happened when abang Soon (my beau) visited me in Labuan, he was very malas to keluar makan for lunch so i offered to meet him at Ujana Kewangan (Labuan's biggest shopping mall) straight after work so that we could have lunch together. actually i dah makan d, but just wanted to make sure my abang gets fattened up.

As a FYI, in Labuan, it is considered a "fashion statement" to be walking around in coveralls. In any other part else in Malaysia (except Kemaman, Terengganu) it would be like a major fashion faux pas to be wearing coveralls to melepak anywhere - Coveralls are like what those mechanics wear one lah, btw. so anyways here in Labuan, people seems to like to lepak and eat lunch and eat dinner in their coveralls, me not excluded. Sometimes when I would go out for lunch, I would just go eat straight in my coveralls also. Mentang2 sumore is coverall of my company (one of the biggest oilfield service provider in the world), so it doesn't make me any prouder, but according to a friend, these guys in Kemaman would be so PROUD that they'd wear it until 10pm at nite LOL.

Back to my story, yeah it is considered a norm to be wearing coveralls. sometimes when girls wear coveralls people would look though, cos it's not common for girls to be in the oil and gas industry. So that day, if I'm not mistaken, on New Year's eve, I got to go back early so went to meet him straight at the shopping mall.

Usually here in Labuan, what we would see is a guy in coveralls and by the side a woman - As the "kupu-kupu malam" industry is big here and i guess women would also want to be with men from oil and gas industry (considered lucrative compared to other industries) so memang normal lah. Men in coveralls with women by their sides. be it girlfriend ker, isteri ker, kept woman ker...

and the ironic thing was, I was working at the yard (workshop) that day, and under the sun, with grease all over my coveralls and stuff...(really looked like mechanic)...then I was in my safety boots also, wearing it phua chu kang style. then when my abang came to meet me, it was actually very funny for me. lol. me, in coveralls, safety boots and grease and holding hands with my "bat jeng jeng" (cleanshaven) abang. It really felt like he was my kept man instead, and i think it did really turned some heads when people saw us. they must be thinking "wah, this guy is this girl's lelaki simpanan kah?" cos he was in khakis and t-shirt...

But i kinda like the feeling. Yong, my kept man...hehehe

i am feeling a bit depressed

I seldom read the newspapers...really, not much for the past 2 years i think. Ignorant about politics, developments in the world. Who cares about which politician is creating scandal again, which is embezzling the nation's funds again...occasionally only would i browse thru and scan thru headlines. [however i do agree that we do need to keep abreast with the info for the sake of our country, but that's entirely another topic]

but past 2 days I had some time so I just went to thestar online and read about the dragon boat tragedy. 6 perished. what that was thought to be a healthy & fun activity lead to a catastrophe. it's never good when injuries and deaths are involved.

I've been underwater a few times before. Playing white water rafting, the recent offshore safety course where a helicopter simulator capsized and we were inside it and had to swim out of it. or when playing with water. it's not a pleasant feeling at all when the water went into your lungs and you can't breathe at all. You'd panic...imagine those who drowned. the last few moments before the water fills up your lungs. all the moments in your life fleeting past you. :(

and for the parents and family and friends of the deceased, who would have thought that morning when Mom made a cup of hot chocolate and biscuits for her child before he went off for practice, that she'd never ever see her boy alive again. He, being in his rebellious years, probably didn't even tell her that he loves her, nor thanked her. 16-17 years...he'd never even attend college. would never have a girlfriend, get married.

Of course, this accident is the same as any other accident. Vehicle accidents, murders, fires...the school is grieving at the moment, but life goes on. They'll heal in months, slowly but surely. the best friend of one of the deceased would probably in a worse spot, never seeing his best friend again, not being able to hang out again and gossip about girls etc. he'll find another best friend, eventually. but for the families, it'll be in their memories forever. "if only I had not let my son...", "If only I had..."...so many what-ifs...things would and cannot be reversed. I read that one of the victims was an only child. :( Chung Ling High School, to those unknown, is a premier boys school in Penang for those who went to Chinese primary school (vernacular, if I'm not mistaken). You'd have to do exceptionally well in UPSR to be able to enter CLHS. The parents probably harboured all their hopes on their only child, and even the parents of the rest of the students...The day the child died is the day their hopes and dreams fell apart.

As I said few days ago, sometimes, we forget to be grateful of what we have until we see the misfortune of others. The times that I yell at my parents, at least they get to listen to my voice, 1 more time. The times that I was hurt by comments of a friend, at least I know that I am capable to feel. The times that I injured my knee, at least I am able to tread on the grounds. The times that I scalded my hand cooking, at least I am able to eat.

This feeling of course will pass. The appreciation of life, the gratefulness of having loved ones around us safely. But we are but only humans, we will forget again.

being grateful

Just now I went out for lunch with my bunch of colleagues...a new colleague just joined us last week, she's working like an admin for us in the maintenance team. Really nice, attractive and sweet. I thought she was just one of the regular us...I was always not in the office (we have to work in the workshop as trainees) so I've never noticed her physical attributes and stuff...

Then while we were eating, she sat across me. her food arrived and she prayed. then she picked up her utensils and only did I notice that she had 2 fingers missing, and the other 3 deformed. her left hand was alright though...I was taken back, because I sat in her car once, and she drove fine to me...but she was able to eat normally and stuff, so I'd think it was something that she acquired since birth...

A bunch of emotions came into my mind. Admiration, because she seemed so normal and is not wallowing in self-pity, seems like a confident person to me. but also pity because she seemed very attractive to me, except for this 1 imperfection...If to put it bluntly, she would be considered disabled. Is it ok to even work in my current company, would it be dangerous for her...but she's based inside the office so it's fine...but for guys to want to date her, superficial ones would probably not want someone like that? Yes, mean thoughts came to me, but this is a cruel world, I'm just stating things the way it is. Then I felt ashamed of myself. I've never given much thought to my limbs that work perfectly fine...my 10 fingers and 10 toes... never had a struggle before. Definitely should appreciate it and am very thankful for what God blessed me.

I've always preached to people about being thankful of what you have. But I guess I always meant it in the sense of material possessions, people that care for you...the physical attractiveness that you have...but not really about fully working limbs...Will need to remind myself constantly not to take things for granted. They are a blessing.

Happy new year 2010 and 'twas 2009

2009 passed by in a breeze, like totally and completely. It was a fruitful year, lots of Facebooking and networking haha. but also i grew so much (other than horizontally) mentally...I'd like to think that I've become a better person, more matured having worked with colleagues from all around the globe...and it ended wonderfully for me too. Just a few things, a recap of the events that happened in 2009... :)

• January - Went to Houston for an induction course, my 1st time in the States. I loved it there, met up with old friends and made new friends too. Tried Tex Mex, and had very good steaks. Oh, fulfilled a long time dream to visit NASA. and Chipotle...and Wal-Mart :)
• March/April - 1st time in UAE also, was in Dubai for a 2 weeks course. Had amazing Lebanese food, again met wonderful people...saw some fancy malls and buildings...but then again, I'm more of a natural scenery type lover, instead of canggih buildings...but still, the trip was great
• the rest of year went by in a breeze, work was depressing at times, and I so badly wanted to work offshore so that I can tick it in my checklist of "things to do"...but the move wasn't too easy but still I guess I persevered? Anyway, working in my previous company, I loved my colleagues. They're such fantastic people and helpful...and I guess I was pretty nice with them also (I'd like to think that I was popular among them haha)
• Yoga - I had the opportunity to take up Yoga again and I loved it. I was busy stalking a cute yoga instructor too. LOL
• July - Rainforest Music Festival...I loved it. A significant *something* happened there which shall remain a secret but anyways, I also got myself a tattoo :) it's a symbol of Aum...
• Definition: The eternal process of birth, life, death and rebirth, and life incarnate. The Aum is the Universal symbol of Creation. Its four parts represent the four stages of consciousness: Awake, sleeping, dreaming, and the transcendental state.
  
  The sacred syllable of creation, the Word that went forth in the beginning and from which all other sounds originated.
  
  Unity between all people, creatures, and things.
  Aum is also the symbol for Yoga :)
  The tribal motives: Hornbill and Dragon, which are protections for Ibans to ward off harm and disease.
• August - Nov: Was really tied up with work and also looking for opportunities to go into technical dept, be it internally or externally. it was too difficult to change inside, so I went with a friend's advice and looked for opportunity outside. Well with my ex-company, I did really well, I think, especially my rapport with my colleagues and even those who are in senior management. I proposed several initiatives for personnel development and one of it was endorsed. So it was good. I even went into Resource, a Malaysian oil and gas magazine where they do a quarterly feature of Women in O&G. I was one out of 3 featured. LOL it made me want to go to the oil rig even much more! At the end of Nov...I quitted.

• It was a month of many events...I had a new job, went to a new place, met new people, and...had a new boyfriend. Yes. :) rather, I got into a relationship. With one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. He's actually my ex-colleague. Sweet, smart, quiet, sensitive and nice. He was my best friend at work. Well, sort-of. "Best Chimui"...mana tau...We just got together mid-Dec...and almost 1 month old now. It won't be easy with a long distance relationship, me being in Labuan and him being in KL...He did come visit during X'mas and stayed till New Year. ^_^ (Oh in case you guys curious, here's a pic)...LOL finally a decent post from me in MONTHS!!! Hope to update more often...
  

I've a feeling that 2010 is going to be a great year, and I'm going to make sure that every year, every day I will treasure each experience gained and to improve myself for the better. It won't be easy with my new job, but insyaAllah... :)

Oklah, time to get back to work...toodles...Happy New Year guys... (sorry typing in hurry haha)