Livin' in a crystal

The Chronicles of I am so lucky - Part I: The Time When We Used to be Tortured

2009-08-11T21:33:00.003+08:00

Today I am feeling very camping-ish. it must've been the chat with Jit Shiong about going camping that ignited my fire! So the time machine shall teleport itself back to...1998...11 years ago. WHAT 11 years has passed since my 1st camp????!!!!! Well it wasn't really my 1st camp per se...but it was the very 1st combined camp I went to in high school.

EYTC with 1st South...i don't even remember what it stands for anymore...T = Training and C = Camp. And I absolutely reminisce those memories with a wide smile and a chuckle or two. Or drinks to splatter all over the table over mamak when laughing about it with the gang. My, those stories could really get the conversation started.

All those memories really made all of us active Girl Guides and Scouts grow so much... Traplex with 7th South...CTC with 8th South...and Talents Camp with 11th South (haha CLHS Scouts please correct me if I'm wrong)...
Let’s see...

1) countless patrol meetings that make “mak beh jin kia” (mom cant recognize child) and “kia beh jin mak” (child cant recognize mom)...not to mention being chased out of homes...and i can certainly name a few more friends that had the same thing happening to them... this tested our endurance which is so important in this cruel working world where shit is being dumped at us everyday but hey we ex-Guides and Scouts say what????? Say what???? Nothing. We just eat all of them, endure and plot our secret little revenge in dark.

2) drilling under the sun for hours practicing formations and fancy drilling steps...kirip kirip kirip kanan kirip...in those times we’ve tried so many types of fancy drillings...with gloves, prancing about, dancing ones, skipping ones...which all required concentration, synchronization and of course teamwork and cooperation among team members

3) Items...practicing dances and sketches...my personal favourite has to be 60s dance and Egyptian dance...the hours we’d put in, and making our own costumes too. This of course promoted teamwork, creativity and the silly sketches we make to move and touch the hearts of our “evaluators”...enhanced our shamelessness/thick skinned faces which serve us very well till now especially in this world where we must be thick skinned to survive

4) Chopping stupid bamboos till our hands shook like senile old people afterwards. Not to mention tying those gadgets – houses la, shoe racks la, tents la, bridges to have fatso excos stomp them down just to prove their point that “YOU CAN NEVER DO ENOUGH”. So you get the shit you get today, your boss throwing the bunch of paperwork to u and ask you to get those redone!!!! Back in those days...yeah whoever said that you can rest....you get to spend the rest of the camping days retying those gadgets middle of the night and falling asleep while tying them (hah – sorry lah i’m a Guide, not a Scout...you Scouts would know what i’m talking about)

5) Since we spent so much time doing logbooks, paperwork for camp preparations, till all the patrol members look identical... neways it means spending time together wont be fun if we don’t talk right...so of course we spend it cracking disgusting, dirty silly jokes, sharing laughter and tears if your ideas gets torn apart by the excos – it really made our bonds so strong, which i treasure till now. We’d encourage each other and keep feeling positive for the sake of your patrol members...It’s hard to forget THOSE friends...especially those who pee on you if you got sting by a jelly fish while swimming in the sea (Ahem you know who you are!!!! The pee-er and the pee-ee hahahahaha)

6) The silly songs that we made up and all in cryptic codes so that certain patrol members that we dislike wouldn’t know who and what we were singing about...while digging up sand by the drain...and picking worms and whatnot.... hahahaha

7) Looking like hionghamuis aka village girls to buy stationeries and accessories for our camping stuff. We were so tanned and dirty from all those walking, drilling, dancing, planning...not to mention midnight adventures to celebrate patrol member’s birthdays...Hello!!! We were a bunch of 13-15 year olds...in those times we don’t have such canggih things yet...i’m not sure if we even had mamak then or not...but i think got lah... that tested our bravery because midnight adventures just weren’t our thang :P

8) Drooling over the cute guy in the next patrol!!!! Its unfortunate that i’ve never wound up with cute guys in my patrol (hahaha just joking-lah) but i remember those times when me, Lin, Janice would go crazy over Mr.BS – Broad Shouldered....our knees would go wobbly...

Ahhhh those times...time to go to sleep... to be continued....but i know that there are so many of you that agree (since 80% of the ppl i know back in high school were actually scouts/guides)...and I'm sure all of you have your very own unforgettable moments with your patrols :)

The Happiest Fairy Tale Ever

2009-07-20T14:24:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said, 'NO!'

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, drank whole bottles of wine, chatted for hours on the phone to friends, always had a clean house, watched chick flicks without feeling guilty, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, didn't have to pay for dual view tv, travelled more, had a career, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched sports, owned every remote control in the house, never wore friggin lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, and felt and looked fabulous all the time.

THE END

aiyaya

2009-06-29T12:10:00.002+08:00

just now i curi tulanged to go breakfast and was walking with a colleague towards the makan place... and an indian guy was on a bike riding past us

he immediately slowed down and showed me a thumbs up finger and said stuff like "i've never seen a better ass on a Chinese girl" or something like that @#%#$^# ??????? then he made shape of the bosom very cun also or something la...and while riding for the next 100 meters he just kept his eyes on us...

then you know what the guy just stopped by the roadside when we passed by just to 'pay his compliments' again and kept showing thumbs up sign...but at least he wasn't tailing us that's like so freaky...he then said "byebye" and left...

i dont mind if a guy appreciates la...but until so blatant and hamsap...well then again, i may be biased because he was on a bike, if he had been on a Merc or something maybe I would feel flattered right? well, life...why can't a man on a sportscar pay attention or something? hahahaha. but i still feel 'violated' and 'harassed' la

which comes to the question...my gym sessions must be showing some results then??? :P

Just to say hi

2009-06-25T12:11:00.002+08:00

cos these few weeks quite busy at work...facebook still blocked at work...

updates:
1) the rumour/gossip with my colleague is gone (great!)
2) might possibly switch to a new position in the company (but nothing firm yet, the soonest will be August I believe)
3) need more money!

be back soon :) toodles.

did a little spring cleaning on my blog

2009-06-08T15:09:00.003+08:00

checking up on my blogroll, apparently i'm not the only one who hasn't been blogging...so if your name is no longer on my blogroll, it means you have not updated for about a year!!! but if your name is still there, it means i have hopes that you would update :)

had a good weekend...managed to catch up with 3 lovely penang chicks - pao, ping, heng...we went to this nuffnang thing? however, i do realize that i am too old to be involved in these kinda activities nemore. :( screaming my lungs out seeing kennysia is just so not....me.

Friday i went for karaoke with 2 other colleagues cos we didn't have to work. whoa. RM5++ inclusive of salad buffet and screaming our lungs out? thats sweet...and sunday (i just discovered that my aunt has the best karaoke system at her house) i got to polish a little bit more of my singing (or the lack of it skills) :) :)

and finally managed to set up my hookah/nargila/shisha which i bought in Dubai (that's like 2 months ago). at a garden setting sumore. topped with an amazing yoga session the day before. i'd say that life is pretty good.

sometimes the simple things that comes easily in life is hard to beat.

am i being incoherent? :) *hardly. remember the previous post to which i mentioned a colleague getting a divorce? apparently now part of a rumor - that we have an affair...i'm like the manipulative mistress that is going after him for his money...and now that he's getting a divorce, i'm supposedly very happy about it...???? what the $@^#%&?

just because he speaks to me often (and yes, he does find me attractive but he finds about 100 others attractive too) and we've had several breakfasts together makes me a mistress. i wonder if i'm any good in bed. i must be, since i'm a mistress. you think it's easy to become a mat salleh's mistress ah? need to be super attractive too. i should feel flattered. i kinda found out the source of the gossip - so i'm not so agitated like i was last week. because initially i thought i was 'betrayed' by the colleagues i work closely with...but it turns out (probably) to be from another division which i dont know anyone...so its ok ... treat as free publicity loh...

time to pick up blogging again

2009-06-03T14:47:00.003+08:00

i guess eventually one would get sick of "refreshing" his/her facebook page. i've plenty of photos to upload, from US, Dubai and my European stint but just not in the mood. maybe because i looked fat in them. haha.

neways blogging again is a good thing. it doesn't take a long time to type in a sentence or two, just to share some thoughts...usually i procrastinate and in the end i dont remember what i want to share anymore...

a colleague is dealing with a divorce now - which is really tough. but in a way, he was looking for trouble cos he cheated on his wife. not once. but i'd say a few times already. he's an expat so getting a divorce can be really messy and expensive. and he has 2 kids. really tough. but then again, he really really wants to be single. so do you think he should have stuck by his wife for the kids? his wife is really amazing and his reason was that he married too young (at 22 years old) hmmm. i would have been one of his scandals had i not have so many "scruples". since i'm so kampung and all, of course getting involved with a married man is out of the question. however good looking the guy is!

i wouldn't mind dating a divorcé though. since i'm not "THAT" young anymore. all the good guys are already taken. all the the even better guys...i dont deserve. well i dont know what i want. who knows. slowly search lor. i think dad wants me to get settled down adi, but at the same time he doesnt want me to find anyone. hahaha. back to the divorcé... i'm not that generous though...if he's in his 30s and all...and STILL without children...i'd do so...but with kids (who are staying with him) that will be though, since i can't cook, nor iron, nor do any stitching. wait, i don't even know how to clean properly.

well at the moment, who needs love anyways - time to concentrate on going to the gym. :)
Oh, and also on work of course...
and i think i will change a job very soon...

Quote of the day

2009-05-06T14:12:00.002+08:00

to have wanted to cheat but not successfully and to have successfully cheated...its the same thing.
Just because you failed in your attempt; it doesn't make you a loyal partner.

hehe False Alarm lah

2009-04-29T14:02:00.001+08:00

so no Love is in the air no nothing at all

now a bit confused myself also.

to be confirmed in these few weeks.

hahaha.

i know i know

2009-04-15T19:34:00.002+08:00

it's been an awfully awfully awfully long time since i've last updated.

blame Facebook.

and i've also not been reading blogs for god knows how many donkey years already.

been busy with work...as you all know, I was away for courses in Houston and Dubai. no worries...no more trip for me at the moment (boo hoo hoo) people are starting to think that i'm always at training hahaha. work's good. company laying off people and major re-org but still good. :) now i can safely being laid off happily since i've earned trips to Houston and Dubai. haha.

on another note...love may be in the air for me *grins. who knows. am seeing someone on and off now. but he seems like a nice guy.

to be updated soon. huhuhu. (i bet someone at home, namely dear Papa is very curious at the moment. hahaha cos he's the only that checks out this page everyday anyways haha to keep tab on his faraway daughter)

My past 2 years, now and future

2009-02-22T00:13:00.005+08:00

the past two years, including this year...has been really exciting and made me open up to many things. I could say that I was travelling so much! it made me less narrow-minded, i became more sociable, there were more topics that i could talk about, i learnt a new language, met lots of wonderful people, even picked up cooking!!!! (embroidery not yet lar)

i graduated in August 2007, my 1st job was as an Aircraft Design Engineer, there I met wonderful colleagues, even though the working environment was super stressful. working from 9am-9pm everyday, my dark circles became so bad, it became a super default feature, my hair lost its lustre, i was permanently depressed, i became fatter...skin was so awful. but there my technical knowledge increased 100-fold...i was happy to discover that i wasn't THAT dumb. Thanks to Dhinnesh, Chong Seng, Chun Kiat, Guztyne, Zharif, Peter, David, Jafar for helping me out when I had difficulties! ;) of course my aeronautical knowledge came mostly from my coursemates too! - Poli, Cmin, Vun, Kwang, Hah, Furfur, Lili, Chanling, Gheeming, Kok, Vibrate, GS, Hao, KWui, David, JJ, Lun, WenJie, ZY...

After that I had to make one of the most difficult decision in life - to join the sponsor for my undergraduate studies (Petronas) in one of the most coveted divisions...everyone who works with Petronas would love to join that decision, so I was extremely lucky... or to pursue my lifelong dream, to go to Italy with a scholarship from the Italian Embassy. Also, I had to resign from the aircraft design company (which i didn't regret)... in the end i chose to go to Italy, which ended up with my having to pay back Petronas...till now I still wondered how my career would be if I'd joined Petronas...

But going to Italy was the best decision I ever made! (I had doubts when I was there, at times...sometimes I was just really idle there, I tot I could be carving my career instead in Petronas rather than thinking of what vege/meat to buy for the day and to cook what for lunch and dinner...)

the 9 months in Italy was amazing! With the sponsorship from the Italian Embassy, I decided to take up Italian Language and Culture in Perugia (universita' per stranieri di perugia). Although I took elementary Italian course when I was in Uni, but by the time I went to Italy (15th Oct 2007) I was left with 3 words "Grazie, Ciao, Prego"... =( It was the period of my many firsts...

1st time I lugged 4-5 bags with me which weighted more than 40 kgs... 1st time I went to Europe, 1st time talking and being so uninhibited with strangers, 1st time hopping on to a total stranger's car, 1st time sleeping at a total stranger's house, 1st time backpacking alone, 1st time staying in a hostel, 1st time cooking a relatively edible meal, 1st time making tiramisu, 1st italian kiss ;), 1st time having strangers approaching u on the streets, 1st time having a crush on a guy who was 6 years younger than me and 1st time seeing so many cathedrals etc.

I met many wonderful people along the way, especially when I first arrived at Rome's train station, a Malaysian-Japanese lady Junko-san who helped me bring my luggage bags onto the train...she still calls me from time to time. and the 1st night I arrived at Perugia, I was desperate and didn't speak a word of Italian, a Chinese couple accepted me to let me stay for the night. After that there was also Simone, an Italian who gave me a ride from the train station to Roma Ciampino airport (I was adamant not to pay RM100 for a 5 minute ride to the airport!)...

Then the wonderful housemates I had (Nadia, Dora, Milena, Claudia, Zhao Zheyi, Liu Jia), who took the pain to correct my Italian, listen to my stories and taught me to cook! oh and the honorary housemate Francesco!

The wonderful classmates I had - from A2, B1, B2 an C1...there are too many to mention...but some which I still keep in touch with - Loick, Jordan, Domenico, Jiji, Lili, Hussam, Emad, Raghad, Shereen, Alejandro, Angelo, Kasia, Katrina, Michelle, Valeria, Kostantinos, Solmaz, Mehrnaz, Chieko, Chiemi, Kae and more... love all of you loads ;) The different nationalities - Colombia, Mexico, Iran, Sweden, Poland, Philippines, Japan, Ecuador, Israel (I never thought the day would come), Korea etc... Thanks to all for putting up with me, and Domenico who had to suffer eating my kimchi, Kostantinos who sometimes had to eat the food I cook. lol. Of course Mariana who was my yoga partner, traveling partner, shopping partner and a very good listening companion.

Then I had to come back - end of June 2008, at first I wanted to postpone the trip because I wanted to stay a litle bit longer - cos I was reluctant to leave 'someone'...but also because there were still so many things to see - I wanted to visit Athens and Milan...but I didn't have the chance... In the 9 mths I visited many parts of Italy and some parts of Europe:

Italy - Sardegna, Assisi, Capri, Firenze (Florence), Gubbio, Napoli (Naples), Vaticano (Vatican City), Pisa, Pompei, Rome, Sicilia (Sicily), Sorrento and Venezia (Venice)
Republic of San Marino
UK - Liverpool (yes I paid homage to my favourite football team!!! It was great!~)
France - Paris
Germany - Berlin
Spain - Barcelona
I would think that I did pretty well in the 9 months right ;)

But it was all fate - I didn't get to postpone my flight so I came back to Malaysia as scheduled - 30th June. It was pretty funny looking back on how I struggled to bring back all my presents and stuff I got from Italy. After fighting with the flight crew etc, I finally managed to check in 34kgs of stuff and bring like 4 hand carry luggages (Yes being Asian helped too, cos I just pretended not to speak English and Italian at the check-in gate) hahaha. On my flight - I met another person who helped me get to where I am today...the guy who forwarded my resume to his colleague and got me my current job - You know who you are! I thought I gave a horrible impression cos I had so many hand-carries and I banged my head in front of him!

Coming back, I'm in my current company - a great place. An oilfield service provider...great colleagues (except one - hahaha)...you know who lar. But what doesn't kill you will make you stronger, so I've now decided to tolerate and make the best out of it. I had the opportunity to go Houston for a training program - a great great program and it does make me a much improved person, I'm now more knowledgable of the oil and gas industry already! I'm hyped up to improve my work attitude, being punctual to work and also to be more knowledge thirsty... ;) Am really excited about my career ahead (As long as I don't get affected by the current economic crisis)...*crosses fingers - ;)

Also seeing my friends getting married - Shanna, Guztyne, Soon, and just now Teng. Congrats to all of you ;) wish you loads of happiness ahead, I hope that your marriage will everlast and many many children... I had the opportunity to attend Guztyne wedding in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah and Soon's in Kuching, Sarawak...

Ahhh I'd say that life's been good - Next month I'm heading to Dubai for a training school ;) yes, in the pursuit of my career success... Never to give up, do whatever you are doing now really well, and be optimistic. I've slept in airports, been out in the freezing cold, been 40 hours without sleep, eating biscuit for meals...I'm sure life could only get better ;) If not, I still have a loving family and great friends to support - I must thank the HPC gals for always being there- Jo ooi, Pao, Loke, Heng, Lin, Loh Jo, and Chun (whom I rarely hear from)...i think i got them all lol... then girls from LL House - RinRin (oh yeah, congrats upon your wedding!), CSY, PTC, Furfur, Meiyin, SPY, LT...also the rest of course: Justine, Charng, Li Yuin, Irene, Siew, Janice, Ai Leen, Wun...wah basically most of the Georgians right?

Wow I think I've said enough - suddenly all the creative juices starting to flow... well although my love life has been pretty pathetic, but I'm sure things will get better (once I lose all the fats right? ;)) alright - now you guys have read my 1500 words on my essay of "My past 2 years, now and the future"... hugz! Maybe next time I'll spill a little on my love status - lol

2nd weekend in Houston...

2009-01-19T13:07:00.003+08:00

I've never been fanciful of designer stuff...but this time... ;) 1st time I've splurged...

...And big time too!!! Am thinking if I should return any of these purchases...hmm...2 more weeks to think before I head back to Malaysia ;) nice or not nice or not? Got them yesterday, thanks to Irene, Melvin and his bro's advice...I'll be blogging about what I've done up to now in Houston as soon as I get the chance...but so far so good, other than bankrap giler hehehe

Happy New Year 2009, a new beginning

2009-01-05T15:18:00.003+08:00

Obviously for someone who's so small gas and berdendam like me, last week i kena sound by my manager due to some expenses thing which i've wrongly put to company's expenses - no thanks to my nemesis who said i could - so now i've to pay my own flight back from KL - Pg (RM375 melayang!!!! one way sumore) ok ok you may say use common sense also know company kenot pay you for that but i just tried my luck cos i booked my ticket from KL- Houston - KL then terus KL- Penang. my nemesis said "can can, sure" and I asked 3 times. so i very TL last week. but now think think, he was trying to help. he also kena screw by the manager alongside with me, just that i am the one paying so i TL a bit lah. haha. but...this year i must change yahs!!!

I will be flying to Houston Sat 10th Jan 0210 hours so means Friday night have to leave for the airport adi lo...will be there till 31st Jan...missing CNY - never mind lah hor...after that I will be on leave 1 whole week to see who will be around at home to teman me play mahjong. hahaha.

about forgiving - let me share this story with you: (I was a little bit less bitter about my nemesis after that, and today i even made extra effort to get along with him - hehe) this article isn't about forgiving by the way--- but a good way to start the new year!!! in the material chasing world, we tend to forget how to be simple and happy -

How to Get Everything for Nothing

In the town of Hanipoli, there were two rabbis. One, of course, was Reb Zusya, the legendary Chassidic master. The other was the rabbi of the town, who happened to be a great opponent of the Chassidic movement.

Reb Zusya was beloved by all for his sweet disposition and cheerful outlook, which he maintained despite the harsh poverty he lived in. The rabbi, however, was not so popular with the townspeople.

Although he was a man of great learning, inside this rabbi was an angry and bitter man. None of the honors bestowed on him or the marks of respect he received was ever enough for him. He always, in his heart, found some reason for complaint. And since misery loves company, once the rabbi found one complaint, he soon found another one, and then another, until he was so boiling with rage because of some perceived insult to his honor that he was ready to explode.

The rabbi of course was no boor. He knew with his intellect that the Torah condemns angry behavior in no uncertain terms. However, as soon as his heart began to ponder his unhappy state - where a man of such erudition and refined sensibilities was so unappreciated in the world - strong feelings of anger overpowered him once more.

On this cold, winter night, as he sat by the warm fire in his comfortably furnished study, the rabbi was again drifting into those dangerous, bitter waters. His thoughts returned to a wedding he had attended the week before.

The father of the bride, Reb Moshe, was a wealthy philanthropist. The entire town had been invited to join in the family's simcha (happy occasion), and no expense had been spared to celebrate the occasion. As the rabbi of the town, the rabbi, of course, expected that he would receive treatment befitting his position. Yet during that miserable evening, he had received nothing but insults.

No place at the table had been reserved for him. No food was served to him - unless you call a few picked over scraps of chicken and vegetables that no one else wanted food. But to top it all, when it came time to say the Grace After Meals, no one invited him to recite one of the special sheva brachos (seven blessings) said at a wedding.

Instead, who was given the place of honor at the wedding? Reb Zushya, that's who!
Was it any wonder that he had left the celebration in a total state of rage? How much humiliation was one man expected to endure?

His thoughts returned to the "scene of the crime" again and again, and now his mind's eye became fixed on the beaming face of Reb Zushya, who had sat through the entire event in a state of rapturous bliss.

The rabbi saw once more Reb Zusya, attired in his tattered clothes, sitting at the head table. There was Reb Zusya, who barely had a tooth in his mouth, enjoying a plate piled high with delicious foods. And when the meal was over, who was given the honor of leading the Grace After Meals? Again, Reb Zusya.

Suddenly, a log on the fire crackled and sent a burst of sparks shooting into the air. One of the sparks fell on to the rabbi's hand, and the sharp twinge of pain roused him from his thoughts.
"Even the fire is angry tonight," the rabbi muttered to himself.

The rabbi gazed at the fire, and then he looked at the small red mark on his hand.
"My flames of fires burn," he said with sadness. "Reb Zusya also has a fire within him, yet his fire doesn't burn. It warms. What's his secret?"

What's his secret? The rabbi's thoughts now became fixated on this question. Why is Reb Zusya always so happy? Why does his face always glow with goodwill? What's his secret?
As the rabbi pondered the mystery, a strange thing happened. His anger began to disappear, and an intense curiosity now took its place. Even though the hour was late and the night was bitterly cold, the rabbi had to have an answer to his question.

Normally, as rabbi of the town and a vocal opponent of the Chassidim, he would never dream of visiting one of the "sect" at his home, let alone asking one of them for advice. But tonight he was willing to put his honor - and his opposition - aside. True, he did bundle himself up in his coat and hat and scarf so that it was practically impossible to recognize him. But even this fear of being detected wasn't strong enough to stop him from determinedly trudging his way through the snow-covered streets.

Finally, the rabbi arrived at the broken-down hovel that Reb Zusya called home, and Reb Zusya invited the rabbi to come in. Despite Reb Zusya's warm welcome, the rabbi shivered even more when he stepped inside and saw the dreary, damp-stained walls, the broken furniture and the empty fireplace. He therefore lost no time in coming straight to the point.
"How is it that you are always so happy and content," the rabbi asked, "while I am always bitter and depressed?"

"It's no great secret," Reb Zusya replied, "but the reason is easier to explain by example, so let me tell you a story."

Now the truth is that the rabbi would have preferred a simple answer to his question, and feelings of anger were already beginning to well up inside him. However, since he had come so far, he wasn't about to get up and leave so quickly.

"Do you remember the wedding of Reb Moshe's daughter?" Reb Zusya asked.
"Of course I do," the rabbi replied in a huff.
"Do you remember what happened when the special messenger arrived at your door with your personally delivered invitation?" Reb Zusya continued.
The rabbi looked at Reb Zusya with disbelief. How could Reb Zusya possibly know what had happened?
"You demanded to see the guest list," Reb Zusya said, "because you wanted to see where your name appeared on the list. When you saw that you were only fourteenth on the list - that there were thirteen other people before you - you became so angry you almost crumpled up the piece of paper in your hands. Is this correct?"
"But I am the rabbi of Hanipoli," the rabbi protested. "Because of my position, I deserve to be shown honor."
"True," replied Reb Zusya, "but did you happen to notice that the people ahead of you were Reb Moshe's relatives and close friends? Your name actually headed the list of those people outside of the family circle.
"But because you didn't see this," Reb Zusya continued, "you became so angry at Reb Moshe that you began to plot your revenge. Do you remember what you decided to do?"

The rabbi remembered it well. He had decided that the family did not deserve the honor of having him attend the chuppah (ceremony under the wedding canopy). He would show his displeasure with them by only arriving in the middle of the meal.

"By the time you arrived, of course, the hall was packed," said Reb Zusya. "The whole town was at this wedding and there wasn't an empty seat to be found. You wandered from table to table, getting jostled left and right, until Reb Moshe finally spotted you. Can you tell me what happened next?"

The rabbi didn't want to answer, but he knew he had no choice. If he didn't tell Reb Zusya, then Reb Zusya would tell him.

"Reb Moshe escorted me to the head table," the rabbi reluctantly replied. "But…"
"Nu?" said Reb Zusya. "What's the 'but' this time?"
"There wasn't any room for me at the head table," the rabbi complained. "They had to squeeze me in between the people who were already sitting there. It was insulting. Don’t they know who I am?"
"So who are you, Elijah the Prophet," asked Reb Zusya, "that people should always leave an empty place for you at the table?"
"But what about the waiters?" countered the rabbi. "Explain their rude behavior, if you can."
"It was a wedding," said Reb Zusya. "There were so many people and so much noise. Everyone calling for more this, more that. True, the waiters didn't see you, but someone else did. Isn't that right?"

The rabbi slowly nodded his head in agreement. He now remembered a detail about the wedding that he had forgotten. As soon as his host, Reb Moshe, had noticed that he was sitting with an empty plate, the wealthy philanthropist immediately went to the kitchen himself to get the rabbi some food.

When Reb Moshe returned, he apologized profusely to the rabbi. All that was left in the kitchen was a small piece of chicken and a few vegetables. The rabbi angrily refused the plate that his host offered him, and he told Reb Moshe exactly what he thought of the abominable treatment he had received at this wedding. Reb Moshe apologized once more, and then he went back to his own seat at the table.

"For the rest of the evening," Reb Zusya said, "you sat in an angry sulk. Your whole being radiated such strong feelings of displeasure that no one dared to approach you - not even to say mazel tov. So is it any wonder that you were not asked to lead the Grace After Meals at this simcha?"

The rabbi now saw the whole evening in a totally different light. He was no longer angry about what had happened, but he was still far from being happy. The mystery of how to be joyful still had not been solved.

"Now let's see what happened to Reb Zusya at this wedding," continued Reb Zusya, who always referred to himself in the third person.

"When Reb Zusya opened his door and saw there was a special delivery messenger standing before him, he couldn't believe his eyes," said the chassid. "To think that Reb Moshe, one of the wealthiest men in the town, should invite Reb Zusya to share in his simcha - and send a messenger to personally deliver the invitation. Such honor! Such kindness! Unbelievable!
"Reb Zusya was so overcome with joy for the family," Reb Zusya said, "that when the happy day finally arrived he rushed to the hall two hours before the chuppah to see if he could help with the preparations. Reb Zusya thought he might be asked to chop up some potatoes or season the chicken, but what happened? Reb Moshe asked him to officiate at the chuppah.
"After the ceremony, Reb Zusya hoped he would be able to find a seat at the table," the chassid continued. "But if not, he would be happy to stand in a corner and eat his meal there. He was just about to go look for a seat anywhere, when Reb Moshe took him by the arm and personally escorted him to a fine seat at the head table.

"Waiters suddenly came from this way and that," exclaimed Reb Zusya, "heaping chicken and potatoes and kugel on Reb Zusya's plate. Reb Zusya was so overcome by all this kindness that he just had to get up and thank his host. He blessed the bride and groom with all his heart, and was about to go back to his seat when Reb Moshe stopped him."

Reb Zusya stopped for a moment in the telling of his tale to brush a tear from his eye. He then shook his head, as if to say that he, too, couldn't belief what happened next.

"Reb Moshe then said such kind words to Reb Zusya," the chassid said, as he wiped yet another tear from his eye. "'Reb Zusya, you're so filled with simcha for my daughter and I,' Reb Moshe said, 'will you please honor me by leading us in the Grace After Meals?'
"Reb Zusya went home so happy that night," the chassid said in conclusion, "but you, my honored rabbi, went home angry and in despair - and the reason why is simple. You expected everything, and so you got nothing. I didn't ask for anything, but I got it all."

Star-crossed being

2008-12-19T16:45:00.001+08:00

JOPP!!!…before I continue do not think that I am any close to have any remote resemblance to star-crossed lovers’ story of Romeo and Juliet. Far far far from it. I’ve recently met a person with whom my star totally crosses his. A “wan san” (in Cantonese, as they call it).

My team leader (I can just hope that he never discovers this blog). We’ve been working together 4 months already. In the beginning I thought he was a really nice person, being so friendly, chatty, gave very good advice – okay, wait a minute, from the beginning he has only criticized that I do not have good fashion sense, punctuality, no sense of financial control and that I should be so and so yada yada yada. I took them as constructive criticisms. After all, he’s a 1st Class Graduate, a team leader at only 26 years old, a Toastmaster president of some branch and really articulate. He was like the golden boy –

Hah of late, there are few incidents happening that made me really really changed my mind. A few words to describe him – Arrogant, stingy, master of taichi (in the working culture sense). He could be nice at times (I mean, really I felt that I could chat with him but arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh at this time I am not feeling so generous with compliments – he totally kills my mood.

It would be too petty of me of me to describe each incident (which I still clearly remember) but… sooner or later the bubble will burst – Of late I’ve been showing signs of being really anti-him. I ignore him when he speaks, sarcastic, jelling-jeling him, he has to be ultra-dense not to have noticed.

And the worst thing is, both of us share the same birthdate!! (not year, but month and day)…it makes me really doubt horoscopes – the being a Virgo thing, characteristics etc. Boh! But someone did comment how much we are alike – but very friendly, open, very good socializing/communicating skills. That’s about it. I hope, if I were 100% like him, then I must really really be membencikan. No wonder I’ve been gaining enemies.

But I absolutely do not share his perfectionist and organized attitude. And God, I hope I am not so critical of one person as he is!!! (and no, I am not a clean person). Does that make me a worse person than him? Having all the bad characteristics and lacking the good ones? Wah lagi-lah teruks.

Neways I just needed to vent. But really really anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-anti him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If one day if I ever write on this blog that I am in love with my team leader, someone tie me up and slap me awake. (oh by the way, we share the same surname too, Tan – how can a Tan be so hateful???? I thought we were nice ppl?????)

Unless me also that membencikan. Aihsssssssssssssssssssssssss. HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM HATEHIM

Viva Penang!

2008-12-17T12:40:00.004+08:00

Today I'm so proud of Penang, I don't know why. well, working in a regional office means working with lots of expatriates...it's not that I wasn't proud of Penang before this... lol, I've always harassed the expatriates about going to Penang for good Malaysian food, to which they agree. (obviously...where else lah?)

I was just browsing Wiki about Penang and noted the famous Penangites in the list .... hmmm... we do have more outstanding personalities that just weren't in the list...and basically most of the Penang friends that I know now are relatively successful in their respective fields...

and we're such nice and warm ppl...I can almost instantly click with anyone from Penang. most of the time!!!!

=) but fact is I'm working in KL...glad that I have Heng and Lin to keep my Penang traits in check...and I've know somemore Penangites recently...and I always give way to cars with "PXX XXX" car plates...cos i know they are sekampung (well although Penangites tend to luan luan cut car queues and weave in and out of lanes...but we're SAFE drivers!!!)

Must be the Christmas spirit and the fact that I'll be back home next week for X'mas...Yay

Oh btw I will be going to Houston in January...for 3 weeks...company training...i passed my US visa interview so I'll be going to collect my visa laters, then arrange my flights etc...(crosses fingers)...but I'll be missing Chinese New Year for the 2nd time... (this year I was in Italy mah)

Big hug to Penangites that read my blog...and non-Penangite readers...you still get a pat on the shoulder (*wink)...

i will be updating my blog more often

2008-12-10T09:28:00.002+08:00

cos facebook blocked again @ work -_-"

was in kuching the last weekend...just came back late last night

i think i'm turning into a malaysian version rebecca bloomwood (shopaholic) buying loads of junk. you don't wanna know the stuffs i got in kuching - let's just say inclusive of a really rodeo cowboy hat and 4 flowers hats... about 30 necklaces/bracelets...a really cute white pearl necklace... 12 bamboo table runners... a few cool bamboo bags... 4 batiks... some cool spoons, and the list goes on. don't even ask how much i spent - =P my room looked pretty stacked up with things at the moment... HEY it's my christmas shopping!!! =)

X'mas Recession Theme

2008-11-25T17:48:00.002+08:00

Sing Along Everyone!

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry;
You'd better keep cash,
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town

It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake,
HEY

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake,
OH

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

just thought I would share some pictures

2008-11-12T11:02:00.005+08:00

Just to keep the blog alive...hehehe these are some pictures of Manukan Island, Kota Kinabalu which I took...there are more...but I'd have to take them from my friends... but Manukan is just incredible! we went snorkeling, sunbathing...swimming...

Proud to be Malaysian -- =) and Sabahans are just so nice!

isn't my blog a bit dead?

2008-11-11T12:29:00.002+08:00

is there something wrong with my Chatbox? which I've just realized...hehehe

i guess one month of hiatus is kinda long...previously i was complaining over being so free, and then facebook's ban in office was lifted...so i was back to being "busy"...and then I really had work to do...now actually lots of work to do...

just some updates: (not necessarily in order)

-went Singapore 3 weeks ago
-went kota kinabalu last weekend
-met up with li yuin, sharveena, mei nien, heng, lin
-went back penang for deepavali
-cut my hair super short
-Guztyne got married (one of my close friends/ex-colleague/we both got cheated over same thing once)
-i attended and exhibition for the Week of Italian language in the world... (i met a cute italian there!)
-i've been seriously skipping gym
-i am FAT (finally the reality so so so sank in...i tot i could get away taking pictures with "angles"...but when you are in bikini...there is nothing to hide...OMG i was hideous. haha)

yada yada yada... update soon. hehehe...

yes the blog is alive and kicking...let me...compose myself...too much alcohol abuse (by that i mean just a few shots of liquor lol)...too much work...too much food...too much everything...only too little exercise...

muax muax...

talak tau loh

2008-10-08T15:26:00.003+08:00

gua talak tau, pasai apa makin kija itu kija makin bosan.
entah terlampau manyak pekija atau terlampau sikit kija.
tapi yang pastinya semua olang pun nampak manyak sibuk loh
tak tau sama ada gua seolang sajia yang belum grasp the art of "acting busy"
gua tiap-tiap hali email sama itu HP Heng, HP Lin, HP Loke dan Janice loh
meleka maciam manyak busy wor
hailan loh

gua punya team leader pun pandai menyolok
asyik hilang entah ke mana
tapi dia itu team leader ma
gua cuma itu kacang tanah kecik-kecik punya
ataupun itu cacing tanah
ehhh bukan...ikan bilis

aiyah cincai lah
pun dah 3.30pm...tinggal 1.5jam sajia
pun talak tau mau tukar kijia tak sebab sinang sangat
tapi yang pasti gua punya buntut punya lilitan sudah bertambah besaq lo
entah ada kina-mengina dengan itu donat dan kek-kek percuma kat ofis tak
ataupun yoga itu menggemukkan?

sekian. salam dan selamat bekija.
(FYI: ini bahasa malaysia generasi gua punya datuk, penang style. tak tau lu faham tak)
etimologi: gua, lu, bikin, sajia (sahaja), kija (kerja), sinang (senang), bini, kina (kena), menyolok (menyorok), hailan (hairan)

hari raya snippets

2008-10-03T08:35:00.004+08:00

as i said the last time i went to Genting Highlands' casino, "I will never gamble here again!"...I still gambled lah two days ago...and yesterday...lost RM150. tension giler. no gambling luck lah!...but it was fun to meet up with KZ, Zhuang Ming, Sharon, Chee Wah and esp CSY whom I met "coincidentally"...but now very very sleepy coz 7 of us shared a room...(I brought Joanne with me mah)...the congestion damn bad on the way up, dera my car's tyre oni nia, 1st gear, jam break, 1st gear, jam break. or whatever u call that motion being stuck uphill with thousands of car (luckily i pandai, almost dinner time oni go up...so many cars had their bonnets up..maybe overheated adi d engines???)

ouch. as i type my arms very painful, on monday i went to gym but till now my arms hurting like crazy. biceps lo. i think i pulled a few muscles. tried a BodyPump class...owwwwwww...like that i rugi lo...one time go gym need one week's rest...like this i ma can go only once a week??? RM50 per session lo like tat...cannot cannot...i must go more, even if just to waste their shower gel and 100Plus... hehe. so die die today i also must go!

So how did my Raya go. great, i guess (other than my loss in the casino, oh yes i am an extremely sore loser when it comes to gambling)...Tuesday night i went to Pavilion for the launch of Coach's new autumn line or something...and I even saw my favourite Malaysian actor who acted in "Her Many Faces" a local drama. don't know his name ar...but in real life...quite disappointing lo...cos he isn't THAT tall one...in the drama macam very the macho wor. but got gf adi...but the gf not pretty...so i bet if i go to another 100 more BodyPump and Yoga classes can rampas him from her adi. lol. joking joking...

after that I went to Velvet (again)..yeah, what happened to my "clubbing is not for me" thing...? eiiii...depends on who you go with mar. My this clubbing kaki Joanne very the entertaining one if you go with her...see her dance whole night also enuff adi...but this time I really had fun! although I didn't really like her snobby friends (and i bet they didn't like me either). I did something scandalous also. muahahaha. the experience was good, no doubt...but don't foresee it happening again soon. =P

but now damn blerrrrr and sleepy. rupa-rupanya going clubbing when you are 21 yrs old and when you are 24 yrs old is totally different. now once club need at least 3 days to recuperate. last time can club till 3am, go supper till 5am, go home, lepak, wait till 7am to go breakfast/dimsum with my xiaoyi and grandparents then only tidur. wah, now...totally cannot. age is catching up ler...

oh..back to snobbish ppl story. Actually I cannot understand what is running through these people's minds loh. yalar they are freaking rich, money can "feng" here "feng" there...but hey you are also just a human...personally I know some rich people who are actually nice...but as Heng once told me, yeah the rich people we know (let's say the rich people in Penang), they are rich, but not THAT rich...so it makes the rich penang ppl pale in comparison. wah. i really really anti them. when i become rich, must make sure i don't fall into the "100 most hated people" category.

I was ~~talking~~ listening to a girl 2 weeks ago for an afterparty at friend's friend's house...I didn't know many of them lah, wah this girl...quite pretty..should be rich also...very the bimbo. Since nobody layan her and my friend was busy talking to another person, so I also go social with her a bit. WAH mentensionkan, she started talking about her choice of manicure, the pretty design she picked, the massage she just had that day, and her hair treatment yada yada yada yada. god, i listened to her for 15 minutes i really cannot layan already. luckily she's pretty so got another guy who was willing to listen to her. gosh i was wondering if all those rich ppl's girlfriends are that way. *YAWN max.

oh yes, it made me realise how much I love my real friends. other than 2 quite close KL friends, I think generally I don't even like KL people. oops (are any of my readers KLites?). so materialistic...and can be seriously boring!!! at least we have our syok sendiri jokes and it's so comfy being around my friends. you could just talk and share. Monday night I went for duck rice with Heng and Lin (my dear Pg kakis) and it was just so nice, just laughing over stupid things, and the whole dinner costed only RM30, and we pay ourselves our parts lah...Tuesday night I went to a posh Chinese restaurant, 7 dishes, costing RM300++ for 7 people and got people belanja sumore, but I didn't even enjoy it one bit. mentensionkan instead. cos i also felt awkward mar, i'm not those high-class socialite kinda person. low-class-do-siasuei-things laidback scenario socializing I can lah...

made me think RICH PEOPLE ARE NOT NECESSARILY HAPPY. so must prioritize my goals again adi..........haiyo. me and my neverending "prioritizing" that has been on top of my to-do list for some time...

happy weekend peeps. and just wanna say I love all of you loads! Abbasso i ricchi!! (Down with the rich--in italian haha)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

2008-09-29T11:37:00.002+08:00

...Maaf zahir batin ar!

to all the Muslim readers...and non-Muslim ones...

Other than the holidays, the best thing is the fact that there are barely any cars on the roads today! yesssssss!!! took me 15 mins to reach workplace instead of the usual 45 minutes, i mean if I bertolak from home at 7.30am lah. yay yay...yay yay... (*pumps hand in the air)...hence the good mood today...

Too bad I have to work this Friday lah (cos no leave mah..sigh sigh...) but as long as don't have to be stuck in the jam can adi...

thank god it's friday

2008-09-26T11:50:00.004+08:00

time just flies...!!! dengan tak disangka i've worked here 1.5 months. also earned sorta gaji buta till now. well, occasionally i do have things to do as per my job description, but rarely...rarely... yesterday kena sound from the evil Team Leader also. but that's my fault lah for not doing what I was told to. blah blah. but i insaf adi, i'm the "once bitten twice shy" kinda person. so now must remember what i've been told to do...

not much progress about the part-time for the italian guy i mentioned, guess he's really tied up with his stuffs as well. but slowly lah, me also tied up doing nothing...

just wanna share this pic, taken during my bd 2-3 weeks ago...actually got a bunch of pics (with Heng, Lin and their respective abangs) but they're in my laptop...this one coz Lin's abang took one, so emailed me loh.

Thank you darlings! (oh arent those 2 big candles and 1 small one? hehehe)

now i'm going to fill up my weekend meaningfully...am going to start tutoring my cousin chiayee (who's in Form 2)...hopefully i dont embarass myself by not recalling to solve even simple math!!! (it's true, the older u get, the more you learn, the more you forget), and in between helping at my aunt's restaurant...and meeting up with friends occasionally. how i wish i had dates instead of meeting up with old friends instead. hahaha (joking k, later kena boycott from my friends here)

at the moment, am still sorting out my long term goal/short term goal (with reference to my previous "how do you measure success" post)...still have not decided which one is for me...but i really need to decide...i dont understand why i am so free but yet i procrastinate so much...oh well...we are allowed to dwell in our miseries once in a while (call it a..."down phase")

Happy weekend people...!!!

Suffering...

2008-09-24T15:00:00.004+08:00

there are many times when we have to suffer in life, in different phases in life...

as a child, when sebat/hentam from parents for being naughty...
as a schoolgoing child, having to carry so many books to school etc..
as a uni student, having to study 4 exams/cram so much info into such a little brain/assignments

then of course, suffering from stress, too much workload yada yada. i graduated d, so no more studying/student life stress kan? am in the working phase stress now.

a few of us, at least among us who keep regular hours at work (9-6, 8-5 etc) email each other at work. Lin is suffering over her weekend duties, Heng is suffering over her super permintaan tinggi boss that gives her gunungs, Loke emailed to say that she is suffering because everytime near public holiday sure got issue one (work related of course). of course i kena "shoot" that I am the free-iest and work-less among all of us (at the moment)...

I was like, who say...I'm also suffering what...from boredom. and in the working world ladder, that's the highest stage of suffering, which is suffering out of boredom. hahaha. =P (i think in cantonese it's called "sai meng"/ menjemur nyawa??) lol lol. joking only lah...

P/s: but today i have another suffering also, which is suffering from pain due to my weekly Tuesday "Torture Day" for my Advanced Level Yoga Session where my teacher and her students engage in an hour of melipat-lipat their badans and god-knows-what-poses. Wahaha, I'm one step closer to being one of them adi. Ouchhh....

oklah, back to suffering guys...

p/s/s: oh and I did go to Velvet/Zouk last weekend after all. hehe. but really not my cup of tea already lah. my old age cannot handle it...i think i'll take up knitting or some stitchwork....

so how do you measure success?

2008-09-19T13:40:00.002+08:00

I was talking to Charng (via email of course since she's in Sg - dengan bahagianya) and I was asking her how does a woman measure success?

1) to have a high-flying career (meeting clients, having a jet-setting friends, she knows everyone, everyone knows her) but coming home to an empty house every evening

or rather to have:

2) a normal job (maybe clerical job...or maybe my job as a quotations analyst hahaaha which keeps regular office hours) life very unhappening but going home to a loving husband and kids...

Maybe it's the monotonous lifestyle that I lead in KL...but i'm starting to think that option (2) is much more appealing. Hell, even Charng the superwoman thinks it. and us just being 24! But isn't it nice to go home, and the husband provides for you...and you finding yourself looking forward to going home everyday, to cook for your family (and them appreciating the food and its all happy and meriah)??

of course it's not so ideal as we think lah. its not like the husband is always so appreciative...and the kids will complain about the food, and you argue over financial matters...then there's the washing, ironing, helping children with homework (worse still, if still baby have to breastfeed, feed baby change diapers middle of the night) but still im sure there must be some kebahagiaan-ness in it right???? see...got some; like Ayah that speaks happily (sometimes a bit kecil hati-ly) of his kids, and Nyonya Penang who speaks of her 2 kids etc etc. Nice u know...

me...in my blog what do I talk of? lately of nothing lah. very routine. recently joined gym so can talk about how out of form i am, how the whole body hurts, how i am aging (macam all complaints ajer)...i wake up 6.40am-7am in the morning, take a bath, get stuck in the jam till Jalan Tun Razak, go work (or pretending to work), go lunch (walk out under scorching sun, sometimes meredah hujan), then continue ~~pretending~~ to work, then wait till 5pm...drive back sesak-sesak, then back home. lately got additional activity, so go gym awhile...then lately my HPC Monday dinner gang not free, so I don't meet them for dinner...then finally...about 8-9pm, i reach home...to an empty home (got my uncle's gf ar, but we don't talk much to each other)...I eat my dinner, take a bath, then i hid in my room, watch repeatedly my animes/italian movies (i bet a few more rounds and i can act out some scened in La Vità è Bella d) then go sleep...then next day the same...weekends lagi teruks although it's nice to see different people at my aunt's restaurant and to talk with my aunt, uncle and cousins, yet...something is missing. I don't know what. Sense of belonging, maybe? They could make do with or without me, so it doesn't matter if I appear or not...gym...I could talk to people but communication barrier I don't like to attempt to speak in my broken Cantonese.

yes lah it's the time of the month where you feel all down and depressed loh. I miss Penang. And I've just started working for 1 month + 1 week... I need some goal and motivation lei...Maybe I should re-enter the world of clubbing again...but not safe to go home after clubbing lah. sigh. what do i need what do i need...

ok i think my boss detected me blogging

to be continued... (happy weekend guys!!!!!)

p/s: I'm sure things will get better soon...

so so mouliu

2008-09-17T13:51:00.002+08:00

...until that I Google myself. hehe. found several entries. to this blog...to my Facebook...lol. cos now boss is back ar...even worse, have to pretend to look bz. but in actual fact really nth to do mar.

i went for the Power Yoga session again. naturally my body hurting like crazy again...

aihs...

this blog very dull hor...

oh, recently i got in touch with an italian guy, so i might working part-time for him (decent job ok!) so can polish up my long-forgotten italian lah!

ok...back to pretending to work...everyone have a great day ahead!!!