so how do you measure success?

I was talking to Charng (via email of course since she's in Sg - dengan bahagianya) and I was asking her how does a woman measure success?

1) to have a high-flying career (meeting clients, having a jet-setting friends, she knows everyone, everyone knows her) but coming home to an empty house every evening

or rather to have:

2) a normal job (maybe clerical job...or maybe my job as a quotations analyst hahaaha which keeps regular office hours) life very unhappening but going home to a loving husband and kids...

Maybe it's the monotonous lifestyle that I lead in KL...but i'm starting to think that option (2) is much more appealing. Hell, even Charng the superwoman thinks it. and us just being 24! But isn't it nice to go home, and the husband provides for you...and you finding yourself looking forward to going home everyday, to cook for your family (and them appreciating the food and its all happy and meriah)??

of course it's not so ideal as we think lah. its not like the husband is always so appreciative...and the kids will complain about the food, and you argue over financial matters...then there's the washing, ironing, helping children with homework (worse still, if still baby have to breastfeed, feed baby change diapers middle of the night) but still im sure there must be some kebahagiaan-ness in it right???? see...got some; like Ayah that speaks happily (sometimes a bit kecil hati-ly) of his kids, and Nyonya Penang who speaks of her 2 kids etc etc. Nice u know...

me...in my blog what do I talk of? lately of nothing lah. very routine. recently joined gym so can talk about how out of form i am, how the whole body hurts, how i am aging (macam all complaints ajer)...i wake up 6.40am-7am in the morning, take a bath, get stuck in the jam till Jalan Tun Razak, go work (or pretending to work), go lunch (walk out under scorching sun, sometimes meredah hujan), then continue pretending to work, then wait till 5pm...drive back sesak-sesak, then back home. lately got additional activity, so go gym awhile...then lately my HPC Monday dinner gang not free, so I don't meet them for dinner...then finally...about 8-9pm, i reach home...to an empty home (got my uncle's gf ar, but we don't talk much to each other)...I eat my dinner, take a bath, then i hid in my room, watch repeatedly my animes/italian movies (i bet a few more rounds and i can act out some scened in La Vità è Bella d) then go sleep...then next day the same...weekends lagi teruks although it's nice to see different people at my aunt's restaurant and to talk with my aunt, uncle and cousins, yet...something is missing. I don't know what. Sense of belonging, maybe? They could make do with or without me, so it doesn't matter if I appear or not...gym...I could talk to people but communication barrier I don't like to attempt to speak in my broken Cantonese.

yes lah it's the time of the month where you feel all down and depressed loh. I miss Penang. And I've just started working for 1 month + 1 week... I need some goal and motivation lei...Maybe I should re-enter the world of clubbing again...but not safe to go home after clubbing lah. sigh. what do i need what do i need...

ok i think my boss detected me blogging

to be continued... (happy weekend guys!!!!!)

p/s: I'm sure things will get better soon...