Day by day...life goes by!

Felt like posting today!

Had a less than perfect day from work today...and one can post a "bad day" status on FB and instantly you can see the replies reverberating, sharing the same sentiments. Mostly with empathy, some with sympathy.

Now, how many of YOU live your day to the fullest? Or how many of you wished that the day will end sooner? How nice it would be for the clock to tick closer to 5.00pm. After all, it is SSDD (same shit, different day)...How nice it is to be holding a bottle of ice cold beer in your hands, sipping away your work troubles...Am not much of a drinker but it is still nice to hang out with colleagues after work!

You know, one of the most anticipated days in my company is 28th or 29th or 30th of the month...depending on how many days there are in a month.Or specifically, any day close to pay day. Maybank2u would become the website with most hits in the base (most of us have our salary credited into maybank) and the connection would be extra slow. Each time, the click would be followed by "Damn, gaji belum masuk" and a disappointed sigh; OR, "Yay, gaji dah masuk!!!"...and a "Banyak betul income tax ditolak"....In an instant, everyone would scurry to their laptops and *click* *click* *click* away...

Key words, "house installment", "car loan", "credit card bill", "utilities bill", "Astro subscription", "personal loan", "online betting debt", "furniture installment", "phone bill", "new whim - IPhone 5...new sports rim... new accessory... new handbag"...Shall I elaborate?

Naturally, the following day or two, the same sentence would be heard "Ahhh...paid all my debts, only RM xxx left for the rest of the month". I cannot say it applies 100% to everyone, but 80% of the population would be quite a close guess.

Thus, a vicious cycle is created. Everyday, you would wish that pay day would arrive sooner. How time could pass quicker, how you could pay off your bills, how you could plan your finances, how one day you could be debt free etc etc etc...Question, did YOU pause to smell the flower amid all the worries?

And before you know it, time indeed did pass by quickly. Looking back, I would have had been paid my salary about 53 times in my life (minus all the part time jobs) already...meaning 4.5 years in the work force.

But boy, do I wish I could turn back time to 4.5 years ago and live my life to the fullest each day! (actually maybe rewind to 20 years back)

It is STILL not too late to pause and smell the flowers, my friends. As Albert Einstein said, "He who can no longer can pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed."

Zest in Life

Some people really have the zest in life. Passion for life. Live to inspire.
I think that I used to have that...Which is why I wrote. To inspire people with my writing.
Granted, I am not that talented in writing...I don't have that flair with words. I mean, I am an engineer...how creative can I be right? :)

But I loved to share my experience...and I want my readers (if there are any left) to see the world from my point of view...The thoughts...my life...my experiences. I guess if you are not writing anonymously, you will have to refrain from saying some things i.e. bitching about your company and managers...for an instance. Not so hard to connect who your boss is from blog --- facebook profile --- company --- manager's name. hahaha.

That's besides the point. I remember I used to read this blog where I found the writer extremely talented. And she really inspired me to try to write, back when blogging was such a hit. She just got married and I feel like a close friend got married as well. I feel connected to her from her writings...Too bad she closed her blog.

Anyway...I do still read blogs and from time to time, there will still be posts that inspire me. Whoever it is...keep writing and inspire! :)

RM140 vs RM1400

Have you ever wondered the value of money? A few years back, before I joined my current company, being freshly graduated and all, I would think that having RM140 in my bank account meant that I was very hebat, cos that meant I would be able to survive for another 2 weeks which means 2 weeks less of agony of waiting for the next paycheque. :) Yes, seriously. Lunch, RM5...and dinner, I could always go to my aunt's to tapao a week's worth of yummy nyonya food or have nasi goreng kampung for RM3.50...Life was simple...everyday it would be just thoughts of surviving for another day...or another week...Worse come to worst...there is always the back up Maggi Mee, specifically lontong and duck flavoured :)

Let's not even go too far back, back to university days, secondary school or primary school...that seemed long long long time ago...correct? (of course not, I'm not THAT old)

With that being said, the salary I was drawing a few years back after I came back from Italy was very "fresh graduate-ish"... Standard. I thought, wow, I am a smart engineer, that was pretty good pay. I was proud of myself. Apparently, that was not the case. After deducting income tax, company share deduction, EPF contribution...almost 1/3 was gone. Then the "smart" me decided that I would pay only 5 years for my then newly acquired Viva...so it's another RM700/mth in installment. RM300 for dad as duit poket. Gym fees, parking fees, fuel, groceries for my uncle's house which I menumpang...really, there was almost nothing left. But  each time I log on into my Maybank2u...if I see 3 digits in my bank account, it always meant good news. Cos it would mean that I would last another 2 weeks. Haha. However, I had to depend on my dad to clear my credit card bills for me first and slowly pay him off during the next paycheque. There were no savings and never extra money in my bank. BUT, I was carefree.

Fast forward 2-3 years...I am now in a new job, technical role, maintenance engineer in a multinational company. The money is now much better than my previous role, I am lucky, I must say so (well, it's not so so so so good)...But at least I do not have to worry about feeding on nasi goreng kampung for the next 2 weeks...I eat whatever I please (not steaks and high end food everyday though!!! But Korean food, Japanese food, western food would always be in the list whenever I go back to KL), be vigilant in my spending, can afford to give my dad a bit more extra, always paid my car installments in time, and even have savings to pay down payment for a house with my beau. Not to mention I can even afford a spa and facial package!!! But you know what...it's stressful. Now with even RM1400 in my bank, yes, 10 times of more than what I would use to have by end of the month, I would feel stressed out. Insecure. Cold. Haha...now I want the money to grow grow grow so that I can have a good vacation...the money is growing but tooo tooo tooo slowly! I really should be grateful of what I have, but with all the rising costs it doesn't seem to be a lot. Whenever I open my super excel sheet of my so-called "finances", it's actually quite depressing.
"When lah will I be able to afford this?"
"When lah will I be able to pay off this?"
"Why lah all these buggers so damn rich one?"
"Why lah my salary is so little?"
"Why lah I have to wake up everyday at 7am and go to work?"
All these rocket science questions.

Then it dawned upon me. What is the difference between RM140 and RM1400 besides the additional "0"? Age.

It must be the aging. As a fresh grad...you did not have to worry about owning a house to settle in, paying for renovations if you were even able to buy a place...nor care for retired parents, pay off credit card bills, investments, weddings to attend (the angpows do cost a lot!!!), plan your own wedding (also cost a bomb!)...starting a family (hence you need savings)...etc etc etc.

So, the conclusion is...the older you get, the more you worry. Now I really know why parents used to tell their anxious to grow up children "Kids, enjoy your childhood while you are still young. Don't hurry to grow up". 100% factual. If only I could rewind my life to when I was 12 and happily buying my RM0.30 bowl of laksa from school canteen.

kegeraman melimpah-limpah

is it so difficult to openly show affection? I'm not crazed about proclaiming love thru fb or doing crazy things in public, or blogging in public or announce to the whole world- I just want someone who is proud to say "I love you". I don't understand it. which is why sometimes I keep forgetting and start to have a tiny glimpse of hope, a little expectation... time to reset n wipe that off again.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Another year, another milestone

Gong xi fa cai everyone! Wishing all of you a bundle of joy for Water Dragon year ahead :)

Another year, another milestone. In a whirlpool of things happening around us, we have such little time to sit back and reflect. Have I been reflecting the past 3 weeks of vacation? Not really. I spent the first week visiting my beau in Miri and then went back to Penang for Chinese New Year...and another week in KL with him. Now I am back in Labuan, trying to get back into the momentum of work...and then as usual, the daydreaming begins.

Many thoughts came into my mind...which is why this new template for my blog is my current template!

Few things on my mind

1) Revival of my blog!!!

2) Anniversary of my 'accident'

3) Money matters and career

Too many things happen too quickly and I have to buck up for 2012. At the same time, I've been taking things too easily. How do I put it this way, back in THOSE time where our ahkong ahma all have to cycle to the woods to get food or garden or breed their own stocks, there is so much being accomplished in a day. Families still get hot food on the table, nice attap houses were built, people are happy, there are no security issues, friendly neighbours et cetera. People were contented.

Now? Life? On a vacation day - wake up, close to noon. catching up on facebook updates - 1/2 hour, go out, be stuck on a traffic jam - 2 hours, have a cup of coffee - 1 hour, read newspaper - 2 hours, watch tv - 1 hour, attempting/pretending to catch up on work and then stray away and surf the internet instead - 2 hours, dinner and traffic jam - 2 hours, catch a movie - 2 hours...the end. by the way, I'm sure all these added up to more than the amount of waking hours in a day.

On a working day. Need I say more? 8am-5pm, work work work. As an undergrad, probably to continue working till about 6pm-7pm, then go out for dinner and being stuck in traffic jam, come home, check Facebook etc, amounting to about 1 hour, speak on the phone or MSN or chat, 1 hour, watch a bit of tv, 1 hour...the end.

Quality of life? Despite all the latest gadgets, iPhone, iPad, massage chairs, spas, facials, luxurious cafes, branded handbags, bestest makeup, are we all happier? Do we all go to bed happily at the end of the day?

The past year, in 2011 I went to a few places - spent total of about 3 months in Kemaman (not to mention the  car accident I got into, thank God I'm all ok now), travelled to Abu Dhabi, UAE for 3 weeks, Oklahoma City, US for 3 weeks, Myanmar for 2 weeks. Spent quite a lot of money on traveling and also a bit of shopping, not to mention all the 'extreme consumerism' I've gotten myself into - i.e. signing up a package in luxury spa, buying quite a lot facial and hair care stuff, been to a lot a lot of massages. Tried some new stuff, like went to a shooting range in US, tried go-karting in Abu Dhabi and Oklahoma, went up the tallest building in the world (Burj Khalifa), went to a bunch of touristic places - - - yes, until now I have not been able to sort them out...sorry!!! To a certain extent, yes, all that made me happy - but not for a long time.

Arghh...confused...cos the more I have, and no thanks to facebook, the more I see what others have, I lagilah want. and the more I buy, the more broke I become, and in the end, poket mia lubang pun pecah...and sendiri sakit hati...I felt that I've accomplished a lot in 2011, but at the same time, it feels like nothing has been accomplished at all.

This is just the beginning of my thoughts of reviving my blog. :) Stay tuned! Hopefully I will write again and to touch the hearts of the few of my readers. To a fruitful 2012...hugs to all!!

the other half

What does your other half, your soulmate, your partner bring out in you?
The best in you, or the worst in you...
Does he/she put you down to prevent you from reaching further or;
does he/she encourage you to shoot for the moon; even if you miss, you will land among the stars?
Or at least tell you that he/she will be there to catch you even if you fall :)

happy new year 2012!!

wishing everyone happy CNY too :)
This time around I will get 3 weeks off, yahoooo
gong xi fa cai!