what a joke

i HOPE no more joke adi. yalor..u all see that since I didn't update for a week..ingatkan i frozen 2 death kat Perugia adi rite? no worrr...still hot and bersweating here in KL..oops..now in Penang. just came back today.

Sorry la friends.. I know that Liwei also asked Loke when I'm actually going Italy..phaiseh yahs kawan-kawan..not I want to 'wan yeh'..it's the ppl in Rome wanyeh one..I also cheated wat..make me quit my job on 3rd Oct..last day...

the highlight of the post --> 0055hours 15th oct. This time no playplay d..I think. THINK nia la. *crosses fingers. I even collected my Visa and flight booking details adi at the embassy on Fri...

Chisin..remember the standby thingy on previous posts? Yeap..since Wed..standby..tot Thurs..standby..no news..suddenly Friday morning received a call lo from the embassy.tada~ tunda 10days. previously when I bising wanna leave later, the fella say kenot..now pulak beria-ia let us go so late...

Lili will be leaving on 9th Oct..cos she's departing from Changi Airport..she's from JB ma..easier to go there..then me dibuang till 15th lo..cos quote "It all depends on the quotation given to us by the agency, we will just accept the booking that gives the best price quotation" unquote. Yalo. quote here and there..end up? rugi 1 weeks' pay at the company. cis. can get a few hundreds more u noe..enuf to eat few more times there in Italy.

but tunggu tunggu..also monday morning adi..roughly 6-7days more..so i just goyang kaki and lepak at home be a good daughter/granddaughter/niece till end of the week then go KL lah.depends got tickets or not.

best thing is dad took leave since tuesday and followed me to KL so can send me off. Hahz. tues, wed, thurs, fri..4 days' leave for nth..except kakacaucau at my aunt's..curi my laptop..chauffer him to lunch and dinner..hahaha~ ingatkan have to drive my SLK back after I leave ma.and also transport my trash I kept thruout the months. end up? me the one drove back the car. now my SLK safely in Pg adi lo..

its 3.20am adi...my nasi kandar also digested liao..can sleep d..i think I will go for a buatan Malaysia facial when I wake up la..RM80..sap sap..only 18euro nia...bwahahha. (heart shatter..am so convinced I will be sooooooo stingy in Italy and hence lose weight..so now im concentrating on eating as much as I can here)

so these few days I will update la~
1)company farewell-trips
2)eye on msia
3)misc

PHAISEHHHHHHHHHH for the false updates rgd departure..all also pekchek adi~ just now I appear by my doorstep in Penang house kena sindiran by my li'l cousin "wah italy so near oni ahhh 1 week ord come back'...-_-"

I'm missing my colleagues adi!!

and Liv damn cilaka...just now managed a 2-2 draw nia against tottenham

false alarm~

10.40am on 3rd Oct now. hehehehe. where am I?? supposed to be in Rome adi rite??

But..I'm still here in KL..at office sumore. Haha. Sorryyyyyyy for those 'wolf crying' texts..saying I'll depart yada yada..

On monday morning kan I said I received call that I'll be departing early this morning at 12.55am? Monday night I received call that the visa can't be issued on time..since the ministry of foreign affairs kat rome are the ones in charge buying our flight tickets for us, maka..yea..change again lo..

now don't know when only leaving...I reckon tonite..tmr nite..or Fri nite..good also la..cos I'm still not done packing yet...I think many items not bought yet..sambal paste..chili paste..kicap..lee kum kee..belacan..prawn paste..pickled lettuce..shampoo..etc etc etc...

anyways today is my last day working here. back to work..now i dare not announce when Im leaving adi..hehe..phaiseh..will only update when I finally get my flight booking AND Visa. me and lili expecting a call anytime..so we basically on call lah..the moment get the details can belah d..

toodles~ phaiseh ya muax~

ketensionan

Everything's a mess now. I am in extremely happy one moment, and extremely depressed the next. It's not even PMS. Yesterday I went to make my visa at the Italian Embassy. All the agreements etc has been signed..yep yep definitely going Italy adi.

Will be going to Perugia...which my uni is on top of the hills...and super ulu kind wan...and as I will be studying in a university for foreigners (universita per stranieri di perugia) of perugia...nampaknya I will be seeing more foreigners than italian themselves. ho ho ho. -_-" hancurkan my dream only.

so the happy part is im going Italy..that's the only happy part..sad ones aplenty lo..

a) My work here in office tak habis habis lagi, so cant leave yet. I'll be probably working till 1 day b4 I fly..sigh..
b) I'm going to miss all my colleagues...all very nice..except one or two meanies..but otherwise all were super nice
c) I'm going to miss my family and friends..and especially just when I was just getting to know a few people that I got reacquainted with and acquainted..so..
d) masalah ekonomi persendirian (me!)
e) masalah deprived of penang food
f) masalah what also havent prepared yet
g) masalah petronas
h) masalah cinta lima segi=
i) masalah horizontal expansion cos I worry I won't get to eat in italy

Gah..anyway conclusion is I will probably fly to Rome on 5th Oct (tentatively)..I hope can be pushed till 6th/7th Oct lo..I want to be excited over this..but I don't have the time to be..sighhh yalo next week still working...

berhutang keliling pinggang

This Monday, I went to KLCC Petronas Twin Towers to negotiate with HR to let me defer my reporting date to 10 months later..that is after I come back from Italy. After speaking to the HR Petronas Center, HR Petronas Carigali and Education Sponsorship Unit (ESU)...I ampu ampu ampu..still got a "NO!"

hohoho you are now reading the blogpost of a girl who just landed in a nice big debt with Petronas. RM42.5k, for the 5 years that Petronas sponsored me.

Arrghhhhhh I also now very dilemma. This current boss is very disappointed that I am leaving...so I think my chances of returning to this company upon returning from Italy is negative. Since he was like ,"WHAT? Giving up such a good working opportunity to take Italian????" Cannot be accepted. After all, this company is designing first of its kind aircraft in this world, and me taking up a position as an aircraft design engineer here, and sumore its first female engineer sure very challenging right???

Also...the bonus that is impending is pretty damn tempting alright. The boss promises a big fat bonus for everyone when its first Proof of Concept aircraft flies. Supposedly end of this year. Gahh. I only been here, what, 4 months??? So calculate here and there, don't think my bonus is going to be THAT good~ now everyday I just do my work lo..and hope to leave the company with a good impression la. It is a worthy investment. Cos the boss is those type that very 'small gas' one..once you betray his trust, it's going to be hard to get back into his good books. by betraying his trust, I guess it means that I leave the company now when my CFD~Computational Fluid Dynamics knowledge is super needed. hahaha. as if la. I'm still a noob in this. Just that I'm the one that stupidly staying back late every night to work. In 2 months' time, I was going to get confirmed. RM3000 adi the salary. Once again, tempting. but..Naaaahhhh.

Italy or not? After the verbal confirmation from the lady in charge from L'Ambasciata di Italia since last week, I have not heard from her yet. Ketensionan. I mean, I really need to start buying all the stuffs already right? But if my pre-enrolment is not confirmed, anything may happen. I refuse to stock up on shampoos, shower gels, facial cleansers and lots of canned food unless its definite. More over, thinking of buying a digital camera (although my bank is negative already as it is)...cos salary coming out next week..Tomorrow I can overdraft 1st..@ borrow from my colleague. hah.

Sighhhh..

Petronas or not??? So the HR Petronas Center is willing to give me another 2 weeks to consider if I want to join them or not, for sure they cant wait for me 9 months.. But my prospective employer, Joint Venture Division in Petronas Carigali is urgently waiting for the employees to report in so that they get started on their projects (or so the HR says)...I really really really wanted this job also..cos this position involves dealing with people (which I recently discovered I have no talent to deal with machines/computers) and liaise with those having business with Petronas i.e Shell, Talisman, ExxonMobil etc...can go offshore...can go travel...can do commissioning etc. Damn. and as all Petronas staffs tell me..working in Petronas really has its benefits..in the sense that the employee benefits and bonus is really lucrative.

But Italyyyyyyyyyyy. sigh...kesimpulannya no matter what decision I make, I will hutang keliling pinggang..if I go for Petronas, I wont have to return the 42.5k, but I will miss the chance of the Italian scholarship (worth about RM35k)..but at least I won't have to pay it back..but sure regret forever if I don't go.Should I let go of this opportunity to go Italy and just go Petronas and work????? work..what a depressing word.

so basically, its at this juncture, again its time to make a decision. -_-" hate it.

actually made my decision d. chose to go Italy. There is no right or wrong, nor it may not be the best decision either.

p/s: Zharif (my colleague) says he will miss me a lot when I leave. But till now he hasn't given me my birthday present (he made me mention him in my blog..so here it is) haha.

The nite I couldn't sleep

Last night after a heavy dinner, I happily watched anime, some House series and then went to bed at 1am, since class is at 10am this morning. Kut kut lah damn proud for beryoga for 1 whole hour yesterday. And was so busy the whole day ma...so it should be a good, relaxing sleep. weather sumore cold cold...Thus I snuggled into my blanket and slept...

Woke up at 2am...Tossed and turned =( Ciz. then think happy thoughts, fattening thoughts, evil thoughts and FYP thoughts. 3am. Prognosis: I must be hungry. Cos I overexerted myself by yoga (excuse to eat nia) for an entire hour earlier that evening ma. hmm. logic. My heavy dinner must've already been entirely digested. Thus, in order to save my tummy, I had 3 pcs of HupSeng kiam pneah (latest addiction).Lies back on bed.

4am. Cis. Still awake wan...must be still hungry kua.Takes a piece of bread. Puts a slice of cheese on it. Melts it with the microwave oven. Yum-yum. Still not full. Takes another piece of bread. This time smother it with Milo. I heard it's good. and I've got sudden cravings for Milo anyway. Yuuuummmm. Confirm tat my hard work of yoga that evening has gone to waste =( Drinks a glass of milk. Jumps back to bed.

5am. Why?????? I'm so tired d..but can't sleep..Realised culprit: My clothes' fabric is not cotton. Very uncomfy and hot. Ciz. Could've saved myself of 3 Hupseng and 2 pcs gardenia had I realised earlier. Changed clothes. Bahagia...Then I dozed off...

The communists are making us plant and reap the crops the whole day, from early morning to night. The food ration is so little, the 3 meals rationed barely make up to our regular 1 meal. I heard they sent off the neighbour's dad off to some camp or village last week but never came back. But it's just a pretense. Apparently the communists has already silenced him forever as they believe him to be a government supporter. Am so worried for dad and mom. The communists just came to pick up them just now. Younger bro is crying. But am not sure why we still get to live in our flats. Can tanam so many crops in flat wan meh? Ahbo I try to call Dad with my Nokia 6270, "hello? Where are you?Are you and mom ok?"
"Yeah we're fine..we are in the village now"
"Eh...how come the communists let you keep your Nokia 3310?"
"Yalor, they let us keep hor, so kind"
"I see..alright. Glad that everything's ok.Ttyl"
I was sending Dad a text message when...

The ringtone of Floorfilla Anthem rang. Jeez. Vun called d..Looks at alarm clock. 9.55am. Class at 10am. Brush teeth and hurry off to class. Late 20mins siot. Lol. Actually hor, after telling this long winded story, my point is I wanted to reflect on my dream cos I kept thinking about it the whole day. Hehe. Such a funny dream right?But it isn't.

I read this book 2 weeks ago, FIRST THEY KILLED MY FATHER by Loung Ung. Written by a Cambodian survivor of the Khmer Rouge's tyranny, this story told of how she and her family survived the era. From 1975-1979, through torture, execution, starvation, disease and forced labour, the Khmer Rouge killed 1/4 of Cambodia's population, which was about 2 million people. Imagine, 2 million ppl dead for no reason. Just because Khmer Rouge felt they were right in their own twisted patriotic mind. Obviously my dream was that I was in that Khmer Rouge era. The writer had to eat charcoals, worms, roaches and anything they could find on the floor to fill up their stomach. Using their jewelry to trade for food, the chicken they traded for were totally walloped. Even the bones were eaten with relish. From a well-to-do family, and chubby, she went from healthy and robust to being malnourished. From well groomed and trimmed hair, to being filled with hair lice, sticky and knotted. They make do with mud water as bathing water. When they are lucky, they get to use the river. No toothbrush, toothpaste or any sorts. All kinds of diseases plagued the society then, and all the suspects (mainly government servants) were killed. Her dad, mom and sister was killed by the communists, and another sister died from disease. Obviously there were also rapings and all sorts.. dan sebagainya. It was really sad reading the book, and all of it is true. All because of the craze for power, innocent people had to suffer. The Khmer Rouge (called Angkar) destroyed many of the temples that was preserved (Angkor Wat and all the other Wats) and basically killed their prospering country. 30 yrs later, when I visited Cambodia in June 2006, I can see that their country is still slowly picking up..The poverty was quite bad and you see shoeless children begging for food whereever you go. And some that stepped on the landmines and survived? Either tak bertangan or berkaki. I almost forgotten the scenario d till I dreamt of it last nite.

Gosh, we always complain so much about dissatisfactions in life. Do we realise how lucky we actually are? Even our communists last time in Malaya weren't so bad (I believe la, since my grandma always tell of the stories of the Japanese occupation and communists). I mean, at least gramps and grandma had potatoes to eat everyday. I mean, roaches, crickets, and yucks. Many other types of insects were described in the book. We are just so so so lucky to be borned in this era and in Malaysia. And I can guarantee you that there are definitely no handphones nor nice communists like in my dream during the wartimes (sure la, tarak handphone pun last time, but it was just an analogy for small luxuries). I'm not making sense am I?

What can I say. Sometimes we just forget to appreciate things. Or simple things in life. Go read the book. I guarantee it will at least twitch a vein in your heart.

p/s: sorry the beginning of the post was a bit mouliu and non-relevant. but wanted to build the momentum to write ma, which is prelude to my dream, which is the prelude to the Khmer Rouge tyranny which is prelude to emphasis on how lucky we are now. Jeez, no wonder I nv score well for essays. No head no tail~